A pirate was talking to a land-lubber in a bar.

The land-lubber noticed  that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye.

He asked the pirate, "How did you loose your leg?"

The pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!"

His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, "What about you hand. Did you loose it at the same time?"

"No," answered the pirate, "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys."

Finally, the land-lubber asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye?"

The pirate answered, "Well, I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and pooped right on me face."

The land-lubber asked, "How could a little bird poop make you loose your eye?"

The pirate sighed, "Ay, it was just the day after I got me hook."