A woman walked up to an elderly man rocking in a chair on his porch.

“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”

The man leaned forward and a smile cracked his weathered skin. In a raspy voice, he beamed,
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. I also drink a case of whiskey a week. I eat fatty foods and never even exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” the woman said, “How old are you?”

"Well" the man, said, creaking back into his chair, “As it happens, I have a birthday next week. I'll be thirty-six.”